At some point in their lives, everyone must have wondered, “I wish I had known this earlier in life,” and “Why was I so harsh on myself?” “I didn’t sit back and enjoy my teenage phase because I was in such a hurry growing up.” Yes, I think the same way. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to find out that it comes with a lot of unwelcome advice. Self-learning is a concept that nobody truly understands. Advice regarding relationships, money, education, careers, and life is nearly always pointless. Certain things can only be comprehended via experience. But what if people genuinely sat with us and spoke about our life milestones rather than offering advice? That would be a better approach, wouldn’t it? Let’s look into it.
Having your life figured out at 25
I’m 25 years old and unemployed. Even though I’m already 25, I have no idea where I want to go. While the majority of my friends are getting married, I am already 25 years old and single. All of this comes easily, but I wish someone had told me back then that it’s okay to not have everything worked out by the time you’re 25. Some people arrive at their milestones ahead of schedule, while others may arrive late. However, this does not suggest that life is coming to an end.
I wish my parents had sat me down and told me that it’s okay to make modest progress as long as you know you won’t give up. However, talks at this age typically begin with the question, “What do you do for a living?” “When are you getting married?” and so forth. It is important for society to realise that leading a healthy life involves more than just tracking achievements; it also involves contentment.
Not every friendship is meant to last forever.
While some friends only stay in our lives for a brief period of time, their experiences, lessons learned, and memories help to mould us into the people we are today. People’s personalities, interests, and objectives can shift as they mature, which can occasionally lead to friendships fading. Losing someone we previously thought was close might be difficult, but that doesn’t mean the friendship was worthless. Whether a friendship lasts a lifetime or only a season, each one serves a specific purpose. We should cherish the positive times we had together and be thankful for the lessons they taught us rather than clinging to friendships that no longer feel right. True friendship is often determined by how profoundly it affects our lives rather than by how long it lasts.
If I had known this when I was a teenager, I could have avoided spending too much energy maintaining bonds that weren’t meant to stay.
There is no need for external validation on your life decisions!
We constantly ask ourselves if we are making the right choice when we are making any kind of decision, no matter how big or small. That’s okay because it helps in the analysis of internal processes. However, explaining your decisions to others is not a good idea for two reasons: first, it implies that you rely on other people for approval of your life choices, and second, it may lead to disagreements and confusion for you.
Only when parents teach their children to make their own decisions at a young age can the game be understood properly. The best method to teach your child independence is to let them make mistakes, fall, and fail, then support them in learning how to deal with it. I sincerely hope all parents have the will and bravery to inculcate this in their kids.
Our parents are people too!
Parents are just regular people like you and me, not divine beings. This is the main problem in India; we treat our parents like gods and maintain them on an imagined pedestal. While worshipping them is a positive thing, it is concerning that they are not treated like regular people. They have also experienced childhood, been at a vulnerable age with their own discomforts, made mistakes, and learnt from them.
It’s crucial that family members talk about these discomforts or mistakes rather than merely bragging about their parents’ accomplishments or struggles. Parents have to realise that having a conversation with the kids is important, not just instructing them.
A Job Is Important, But It Isn’t Your Entire Identity
These days, having a job is crucial to having a solid financial standing, but some people make their employment their identities. A work title or financial accomplishments should never be the first thing said when introducing oneself. There is much more to life than that. Sadly, nobody at work—especially the seniors—tells their juniors that a job is not everything; instead, there is increased pressure to juggle a lot of work with other obligations.
We all have difficult days at work, but it doesn’t mean we’re failures. You will feel less stressed the more you discuss this with your peers. Developing a career is just as vital as developing a meaningful, tranquil, and stress-free life. At the end of the day, our job is something we do, not the entirety of who we are.
Ask for help earlier!
As we become adults, we begin to feel as though we are carrying the weight of the entire world. This emotion causes one to overthink things and occasionally fail to seek help when necessary. Being self-sufficient is fantastic, but it’s also OK to ask for assistance when you’re stuck and unable to find a solution. It would strengthen your development as a person rather than undermine your freedom.
Asking for help is not a sign of failure; rather, it strengthens your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. However, failing to get assistance and experiencing burnout is a type of bad pride that will only reduce your value as a person.
As we go through life, we begin to realise that certain conversations could have prevented some avoidable blunders, needless confusion, and irrational expectations. There are a lot of things we wish someone had talked to us about sooner, like understanding relationships, establishing boundaries, picking a job, handling money, or learning to prioritise yourself without feeling bad. However, we might not be able to hold ourselves or others accountable for our lack of knowledge. Life doesn’t come with a handbook, and we don’t suddenly become masters at managing it at a certain age.
We are still figuring out what makes us happy, navigating relationships, and understanding ourselves even in our thirties and forties. On some days, we are sure in our decisions; on others, we question whether we are making the proper decisions at all. And that is perfectly normal. Perhaps having all the answers and making all the correct choices isn’t what it means to grow up. Maybe it just comes down to being a little kinder to ourselves along the road, having more honest talks, and asking better questions.
After all, it’s never too late to soak up new knowledge, alter our viewpoint, or start a conversation that we previously believed was too challenging.
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