Anisha Expresses

From the moment children enter school, their days fill with numbers, facts, and vocabulary lists. We carefully teach them how to solve equations, read fluently, and memorize the workings of the world around them—but rarely do we pause to teach them how to understand the world within. What happens when a child feels overwhelmed, jealous, anxious, or hurt but doesn’t have the words or tools to make sense of those feelings? Emotional intelligence (EI) is often treated as something children will “pick up along the way,” yet it is one of the most essential life skills they will ever need. This blog explores why learning to understand emotions should stand alongside math and science as a core lesson of childhood.

Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ), is a fundamental life skill that should not be taken for granted. It can lead to a better understanding of one’s own and other people’s emotions if it is taught and practiced from an early age in schools or at home.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand, manage, and express your own emotions—while also recognizing and responding effectively to the emotions of others.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the concept and described EQ as being made up of five key components:

1. Self-awareness—knowing what you’re feeling and why.
   
2. Self-regulation—managing your emotions instead of reacting impulsively.
   
3. Motivation—using emotions to stay focused and driven toward goals.
   
4. Empathy—understanding how others feel.
   
5. Social skills—building healthy relationships and communicating effectively.
   

Simply put, being “too emotional” is not a sign of emotional intelligence. It all comes down to having emotional intelligence, which includes understanding when to talk, when to stop, how to resolve disagreements, and how to create deep connections.

Since a child’s brain is developing at its fastest rate throughout this period, the beginning stages of life are the ideal time for imparting EQ. During this stage, children learn social skills by studying and observing the behavior of the people in their social circle, such as their parents, guardians, grandparents, teachers, and others, and trying to replicate these behaviors in their own conduct. Those who have the most effect on children can use this period to inculcate positive emotional habits (more on that later). Children’s minds are still developing; thus, it is never too early to teach them emotional skills.

Ignoring the value of emotional intelligence (EQ) in early childhood may have minor but significant effects on adulthood. Children that have a higher EQ will find it much simpler to handle the stress they will experience as they grow up. Because they are more accepting of themselves and have a greater understanding of their emotional state than anyone else, they deal with it inwardly first, which makes them appear calm on the outside. There may also be consequences for communication. For instance, some people struggle with self-expression, which can cause miscommunications or negatively impact their relationships with the people closest to them. Other repercussions could include difficulties with a partner, poor academic performance, a shortage of friends, increased anxiety, and behavioral problems. If EQ, the most important life skill, is fostered in children early on, all of these can be eliminated or at least lessened. However, as many psychologists have noted, there are significant advantages to obtaining EQ at a young age. Since it multiplies optimism and hope, EQ can be referred to as a life multiplier skill. The majority of these are associated with better communication, better interpersonal relationships, better academic development, a trustworthy social circle, strong mental health, better decision-making, better leadership in adulthood, etc.

According to research, EQ develops early in life as a result of a combination of social environment, caregiving contact, and biological personality traits. According to research based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory and influenced by Daniel Goleman’s work, children primarily acquire emotional control and empathy through responsive, consistent caregiving. Over time, brain circuits linked to emotional control get stronger when guardians categorize feelings, model composed responses, and create safe spaces for expression. Peer interactions and educational settings help kids develop abilities like self-control, perspective-taking, and conflict resolution as they get older. As a result, early relational experiences and continuous social learning both influence the progressive development of EQ. In other words, “EQ study begins at home.”

As researched by many psychologists, there are a few techniques or practical ways of building EQ in kids, listed below:

1. Teaching emotional vocabulary—This essentially entails teaching kids how to identify or model their feelings, which aids in their awareness of the emotion they are experiencing in a particular situation. The same can be accomplished using a variety of tools, such as emotional playcards or charts, reading books with narratives and expressions, creative emotional games, etc. Asking your child, “How are you feeling today?” Each day is also the most beneficial method. Yayyy? Nayyy? Also, okay, alright? There may be no answer at all, or the response may not be satisfactory at first. On the other hand, if the question is asked often, the child may attempt to identify the mood of the moment and convey it appropriately.
2. Validation instead of dismissal of emotions—The act of validating an emotion involves fully acknowledging and comprehending the child’s feeling without passing judgement, agreeing, disagreeing, or dismissing it. When a child speaks to you, paying attention, listening intently, and reacting to what they say can help them develop a higher EQ. Even while you may not always agree with the child’s expression, you still need to listen before you act, accept the emotion, and agree to disagree. When a child experiences sadness or anger, it is the hardest thing to do. But in this case, listening is crucial and the best way to improve EQ at a young age.
3. Encouraging problem-solving—When the child is sad, angry, moody, or depressed, this approach is used. When a child is experiencing discomfort, they are unsure of how to deal with it because they are still learning about emotions and how to express them. For children, crying aloud is the most common way to communicate stress. The parents or caretaker may become agitated in this kind of situation. However, the first thing to do in this situation is to ask the child what happened and how they are feeling at the moment. Say something like, “I understand what you’re feeling, and let’s try to solve this,” to help the child relax later. Instead of causing chaos for everyone by sobbing, this encourages the child to go ahead and express the emotion in the right way. Instead of taking stress and creating mental chaos, this will help the same child in adulthood channel the emotions in a healthy way.
4. Teaching empathy through stories and play—Teaching empathy to children through stories and play is one of the most natural and effective ways to develop strong emotional intelligence (EQ). When children listen to stories, they are exposed to different characters, emotions, and perspectives, which helps them understand how others might feel in various situations. By discussing a character’s choices, feelings, and challenges, children learn to recognize emotions and think beyond their own experiences. Similarly, play—especially role-playing games, pretend play, and cooperative activities—allows children to practice empathy in real time. When they take on different roles or work with peers, they learn to share, listen, negotiate, and respond to others’ emotions. These playful and imaginative experiences gently nurture emotional awareness, compassion, and social understanding, helping children build stronger EQ skills that support healthier relationships throughout their lives.
5. Creating safe conversations about feelings—I believe that the solution to every issue is communication. Long-term benefits also come from having effective conversations with kids about anything and everything. Similarly, parents should discuss feelings and emotions with their children on a regular basis. The days of children being afraid to express themselves or even look up to their parents are long gone. Households are now more open than they were in the past. Parents should make the most of this social shift by talking to their children about their emotions, which will naturally boost their EQ.

In the digital age, where much of our communication happens through screens, emotional intelligence (EQ) has become more important than ever. Children and adults alike are constantly interacting through messages, social media, and online platforms where facial expressions, tone, and body language are often missing. This can make it harder to understand emotions, show empathy, or resolve misunderstandings. Developing strong EQ helps individuals communicate thoughtfully, recognize the feelings behind digital interactions, and respond with kindness and awareness. In a world driven by technology, emotional intelligence acts as a human compass, guiding people to build meaningful and respectful connections even in virtual spaces.

I’ll end my piece by stating that we need to raise people, not just achievers. As I raise my child, who is currently in the early stages of learning EQ, I also try to teach the same ideals. EQ is a life skill, or more accurately, a survival skill, not merely a soft skill. The only ability that can enable you to develop with others and receive emotional support in this fast-paced, technologically advanced, stressful, competitive world is emotional intelligence (EQ). Just like food, clothing, and shelter, you now must have small daily chats about your feelings with anybody you are attached to.